Posts Tagged ‘memories’

I didn’t get around to finish that one for a while, but here it is; Against the Tide.

I was trying to capture that moment right after orgasm when you fall asleep almost instantly in each other’s arms. Exhausted. You drift sometimes for a bit but in your mind everything is blurry. And the last thing you see is your lover’s lips, closed eyes, and that fine line between their neck and their shoulder.  Usually it’s also the first thing you see as you wake up, still entangled.

Large_Polaroid_014small

It’s a beautiful moment, a moment however that cannot be shared (at least for me) with just anyone. I come from a romantic culture, where we’re taught about true love, love at first sight and soul-mates. I don’t believe in much, hell I don’t even believe in humanity. But I believe some people’s love can be stronger than anything else, and outlive anything. I believe in loving someone more than your own life. Just like I hope most people love their children.

When someone you deeply love tell you they don’t love you, it scraps a little bit of your soul off, and it leaves an empty void in your chest. You feel betrayed by these moments that meant something more than usual to you, and your trust toward that person is chattered.

I’ve been advised not to think about the person who caused me pain. Recently for some reason I cannot get them out off my head. Every morning, every night, they bounce around in my brain and I’m assailed by sharp memories. Every time I close my eyes I see their face and their smile slowly fading away. It came to a point where I decided not to fight it anymore. Just like the tide, the memories get high and bring tears to my eyes. But just like the tide, they also withdraw, and leave at peace for a while. Eventually It won’t come as high anymore and it will remain a calm sea of fond memories.

I’m thinking of ending the series soon. I often wonder if some of the pain would go away if I sold them all and they were taken away. I could also burn them all. But I think it might just end up morphing into something else.

till soon ~

– D

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Post Love

Posted: March 9, 2014 in Erotic Series
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Here is another medium size Polaroid #326 entitle “Post Love”… although it could be Post Spanking.

This one is just about some of these little moments where you feel comfortable in a relationship and even though you’re not doing anything special with your lover, you’re genuinely happy.

If you could swallow a drug that would erase certain memories would you take it? It’s sometimes tempting to think about erasing any memories that makes you unhappy.  But unfortunately most of those memories that make you sad or nostalgic are also happy memories. I would want change or have it any other way, I will live with the memories, sometimes they will pain me, sometimes they will just make me smile.

Post Love

That’s all for this one. Much more Polaroids to come…. I’ll close with a song that’s always good to hear when your sweetheart is around, especially on Sundays

till next time.

~ D

 

Here’s another large Polaroid, 11×15″ special for Valentine’s Day. It’s entitled “Shift” after the Grizzly bear song that was playing that night, exactly a year ago from now.

Some moments or people are associated with songs, I can remember precisely what I was doing with whom when I hear certain songs. Sometimes it makes me feel sad, sometimes I’m just happy I’m able to remember so vividly these long gone memories…. Oceania by Bjork, Stuck in the Middle with You by Stealers Wheels, What if we could by Trent Reznor& Atticus Ross, recently Shift by Grizzly Bear and Holocene by Bon Iver, are some examples of songs I associate with specific moments and specific people in my life.

For some reason, when listening to Shift,  I always hear “And when you  call I’ll be gone” when the actual lyrics are;

Baby, I’ve got silver and I’ve got gold
But when push comes to shove, this is getting old
I wouldn’t have it any other way
No, I wouldn’t have it any other way
And when you call I’ll be there
There…
I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Is my subconscious scared the person I care about won’t be there when I need him? Or is it I who won’t be there when they finally call?

SHIFTI’ll close on my favorite song from last year; Skinny Love by Bon Iver:

Come on skinny love just last the year
Pour a little salt, we were never here
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

Tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in this moment this order’s tall

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind

In the morning I’ll be with you
But it will be a different kind
I’ll be holding all the tickets
And you’ll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love, what happened here?
Suckle on the hope in lite brassieres
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sullen load is full, so slow on the split

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind

And now all your love is wasted
And then who the hell was I?
And I’m breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines

Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?

———-

I still wouldn’t have it any other way….

Till next time…

~ D