Posts Tagged ‘couple’

I didn’t get around to finish that one for a while, but here it is; Against the Tide.

I was trying to capture that moment right after orgasm when you fall asleep almost instantly in each other’s arms. Exhausted. You drift sometimes for a bit but in your mind everything is blurry. And the last thing you see is your lover’s lips, closed eyes, and that fine line between their neck and their shoulder.  Usually it’s also the first thing you see as you wake up, still entangled.

Large_Polaroid_014small

It’s a beautiful moment, a moment however that cannot be shared (at least for me) with just anyone. I come from a romantic culture, where we’re taught about true love, love at first sight and soul-mates. I don’t believe in much, hell I don’t even believe in humanity. But I believe some people’s love can be stronger than anything else, and outlive anything. I believe in loving someone more than your own life. Just like I hope most people love their children.

When someone you deeply love tell you they don’t love you, it scraps a little bit of your soul off, and it leaves an empty void in your chest. You feel betrayed by these moments that meant something more than usual to you, and your trust toward that person is chattered.

I’ve been advised not to think about the person who caused me pain. Recently for some reason I cannot get them out off my head. Every morning, every night, they bounce around in my brain and I’m assailed by sharp memories. Every time I close my eyes I see their face and their smile slowly fading away. It came to a point where I decided not to fight it anymore. Just like the tide, the memories get high and bring tears to my eyes. But just like the tide, they also withdraw, and leave at peace for a while. Eventually It won’t come as high anymore and it will remain a calm sea of fond memories.

I’m thinking of ending the series soon. I often wonder if some of the pain would go away if I sold them all and they were taken away. I could also burn them all. But I think it might just end up morphing into something else.

till soon ~

– D

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Here are a couple of Polaroids set, some Portraits and some Body parts.

the no bodies

I do portraits once in a while, it’s always hard to nail someone’s expression but I think I did a good job here. For this set I was interested in juxtaposing my 3 most recent lovers and see if I see something different about them. And I have to say it’s quite interesting… I’m obviously attracted to a specific type. What strikes me the most in the features are the eyes.

On a fun note, those three together make a PhD…. Does that mean I graduated? I sure still over-think everything. However those relations brought me to a point in my life where I know where I stand, I know what I need and won’t be so trusting nor kind anymore. It’s sad when being “too giving” becomes a burden and a source of pain. But then again I’m known for being good at making work about the feel of being lost and misunderstood. So maybe my curse as an artist is not to be able to be careless enough, but on the up side it allows me to create intimate and honest work.

BodiesI’m very happy about how these 2 turned out. When you fall asleep or awake next to your lover you always take time to gaze upon their bodies, you try to memorize every line, every beauty spot. It’s one of those rare peaceful moment where you can meditate and do not think about anything but the present moment, and the body lying next to you and how much you care about them.  At least for me.

I should do more of those body parts, they translate well the nostalgia and melancholia of lost loves.

till soon…

~ D

Here are a couple of larger scale Polaroids. Pushing a little the graphic on that first one. I recently read that blog about how people we come to love eventually become strangers. Not because we forget about them but because we decide to make them stranger to our life. It’s sad how someone you were so close to indeed suddenly becomes a stranger, the connection you once share becomes nothing but a memory. We live our lives knowing that the person you once love has become nothing but another lost face in the crowd. When in fact you use to know them on a deeper level than any of their friends. The vision you have of a person within the confine bedroom is very different from when you are outside socializing. Uncovering a person in the intimacy can be scary, for some people it’s hard to let the other in, but when you’re comfortable you really do come to see them under a very unique light. And that knowledge will never be lost.

On another note, I’m also considering more and more starting to work on a music video for Love is A Bitch and do a nice animated piece using the Polaroids. I still have to find a technique I’m happy with thought.

Orgasm Don't take it off

I’m tired so I’ll close this on a Verlaine’s poem;

Memory with Twilight glows
And trembles on the fiery horizon
Of burning Hope that shrinks and grows
Like some mysterious partition
Where the flowers in profusion
– Dahlias, lilies, tulips and marigolds –
Fly round a trellis in their circulation
Among the heady exhalation
Of heavy perfumes, whose warm poison
– Dahlias, lilies, tulips and marigolds –
Drowning my senses, soul and reason,
Mingles in their immense confusion
Memory with Twilight’s glows.

Till soon…

~ D

Post Love

Posted: March 9, 2014 in Erotic Series
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Here is another medium size Polaroid #326 entitle “Post Love”… although it could be Post Spanking.

This one is just about some of these little moments where you feel comfortable in a relationship and even though you’re not doing anything special with your lover, you’re genuinely happy.

If you could swallow a drug that would erase certain memories would you take it? It’s sometimes tempting to think about erasing any memories that makes you unhappy.  But unfortunately most of those memories that make you sad or nostalgic are also happy memories. I would want change or have it any other way, I will live with the memories, sometimes they will pain me, sometimes they will just make me smile.

Post Love

That’s all for this one. Much more Polaroids to come…. I’ll close with a song that’s always good to hear when your sweetheart is around, especially on Sundays

till next time.

~ D

 

Dima is back, she’s never far away screaming in my ears to shut the hell up and draw.

I recently started doing in addition to the Polaroid sized watercolors, large size Polaroids! Same technique but larger scale. Here is the large Polaroid #003 which is about 11 by 17″. Larger format allows me to add more details to the composition, and I was pretty happy how that one came out. Still undecided on the title. Between “Morning Blues” and “Birthday Letter”.

I keep an original blue print of all my drawings. This way if I mess up the watercolor I can always go back to the original pencil drawing, retrace it, and paint it again. It’s interesting how colored version always look different from the pencil draft. Not only because it has colors, rendering process tend to lose details or fine lines from pencil.. I guess my painting needs improvement.

Morning Blues Pencil Stage Morning Blues

 

I’m going to distort a quote from Henry Miller here but bare with me; to really love someone is to be ready to lose yourself in another person, that thought is frightening to the common man/woman, but only until we completely lose ourselves, can we find out who we really are.

I found myself long ago and I had time to drown in my own tears many, many times. So I’m getting to a point where I just do not give a fuck anymore (excuse my French).  And all I know is I’ll never regret to not have lived enough, loved enough, or invest enough heart in my life and in my lovers. That’s more than most people can say.

As Ted Hughes said in a letter he once wrote; The only calibration that counts is how much heart people invest, how much they ignore their fears of being hurt or caught out or humiliated. And the only thing people regret is that they didn’t live boldly enough, that they didn’t invest enough heart, didn’t love enough. Nothing else really counts at all.

I’ll end with another quote of my favorite  poem by Ted Hughes, extract from Birthday Letter;

“The dreamer in her
Had fallen in love with me and she did not know it.
That moment the dreamer in me
Fell in love with her and I knew it”

~ till next time

Here are some more Polaroids, the undercoat of Yellow came out very bright and for some reason the first words that came in my mind when I looked at them was “Gin & Tonic”

Summer is getting closer, it’s going to be a time for romance for most people. Personally my life is getting too complicated to think straight about anything… I’ll just go with the flow. Fill up my lungs with smoke and drown my heart into liquor. Trying to forget about the lonely and cold months of the winter. Trying not to think about those who mattered… We will think about the future another time.

Waking up next to someone can be nice though… that is if they’re not snoring.

till soon…
D-

“Idle youth, enslaved to everything; by being too sensitive I have wasted my life.”
-Arthur Rimbaud, Song of the Highest Tower, Collected Poems (1872).

Life brings us together, sometimes these gestures than make us feel like we’re breathing into each other are the ones we remember the most. A “sensation”… We don’t always remember things that happened, but we remember a sensation we felt deep in our guts. Depending on your sensitivity level, you will recall these sensations differently.

I’m amazed at how the human brain records certain things with so much precision. A touch, a smell, again… a sensation. Unfortunately, sometimes it can be a bad thing too… A rape victim will remember vividly these violent sensations, they’ll scar her/his skin so deeply that these touches will automatically be associate with disgust and pain. The trauma left in the body will turn into never healing bruises. This can happen also with a seemingly innocent bad experience, not necessarily something as brutal and horrifying as a rape. My point being; what we do, what we experience and the choices we make define us.

Let’s avoid inner bruises!

We should always be aware of each other. Treat each other’s body carefully and with respect, as if your partner’s body was a sanctuary. Not so many people have the luxury to explore their sexuality with carelessness and find themselves fully blossomed. To be a shameless “erotic” person with no restrictions or discomfort whatsoever, you truly need to have no care in the world. Be a bit of a gypsy… Or a libertine.

A sensation that comes from deep within our subconscious can be a feeling that reminds us how pleasant life is. It reminds us of our past loves and pleasures. Sometimes it can be something as simple as the smell of freshly cut grass in the summer’s morning…

I’ll close up with my favorite of them all, makes me feel like to go on an adventure where I’ll just walk aimlessly in nature;

“On the blue summer evenings, I shall go down the paths,
Getting pricked by the corn, crushing the short grass :
In a dream I shall feel its coolness on my feet.
I shall let the wind bathe my bare head.

I shall not speak, I shall think about nothing :
But endless love will mount in my soul
And I shall travel far, very far, like a gypsy,
Through the countryside – as happy as if I were with a woman.”

Arthur Rimbaud, Sensation (March 1870.)

Till soon…
– D