Archive for May, 2014

I reached 350 Polaroids, after the last post I felt I was done with the Polaroids series. Here is the last Polaroid #350.

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I was trying to grasp that peculiar moment that happened last summer, when the person you  love finally let go of their doubts and fears and take a risk to tell you how they feel. It’s always hard to be true to your feelings, understand them, and even more, express them. It can be so hard sometimes to let the words out because you’re so scared of the person reaction. Or you’re self conscious about the consequences of those words. But when the fear is gone, there is just that incredible sense of unique completion, complicity and warm, that only someone you truly love can give you.

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I actually cried a lot when I was done drawing those two. I feel at the end of my rope when it comes to the Polaroids. I’ve been doing all these as a sort of outlet for my sorrow, and it allowed me to capture moments that won’t pain me so strongly in a year from now. I’m therefore glad I managed to capture them. But I’d like to not feel the need to do them anymore. And I thought those were a perfect way to end it.

I know I could do another 50 and have 400… But as of now, I’d like to focus on getting all these in galleries, the 350 are meant to be shown and sold as ONE unique piece and I have a body of work important enough that now I feel the need to get it out there and try to sell it. I’m currently working on making limited lifesized print of a collage of all the polaroids.

I’m a little sad it’s the end of an era, 3 years, almost 4, working on this series. But I’m excited about the next stage.

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Now it doesn’t mean the end of Love’s a Bitch. Just the Polaroids. I’m thinking of taking things into a new direction. I’m starting working on a new project called “Love at War” which seems a logical route. It’s an idea for an epic animated tale, for all audience. But I’m thinking of making “deleted scenes” where we could see the two main characters get intimate. What if cartoon characters had sex? I always wondered… I’m sure there is porn out there available for that but I’d like to keep it erotic and just more about love than “just” about sex.

till next time….

~D

 

I didn’t get around to finish that one for a while, but here it is; Against the Tide.

I was trying to capture that moment right after orgasm when you fall asleep almost instantly in each other’s arms. Exhausted. You drift sometimes for a bit but in your mind everything is blurry. And the last thing you see is your lover’s lips, closed eyes, and that fine line between their neck and their shoulder.  Usually it’s also the first thing you see as you wake up, still entangled.

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It’s a beautiful moment, a moment however that cannot be shared (at least for me) with just anyone. I come from a romantic culture, where we’re taught about true love, love at first sight and soul-mates. I don’t believe in much, hell I don’t even believe in humanity. But I believe some people’s love can be stronger than anything else, and outlive anything. I believe in loving someone more than your own life. Just like I hope most people love their children.

When someone you deeply love tell you they don’t love you, it scraps a little bit of your soul off, and it leaves an empty void in your chest. You feel betrayed by these moments that meant something more than usual to you, and your trust toward that person is chattered.

I’ve been advised not to think about the person who caused me pain. Recently for some reason I cannot get them out off my head. Every morning, every night, they bounce around in my brain and I’m assailed by sharp memories. Every time I close my eyes I see their face and their smile slowly fading away. It came to a point where I decided not to fight it anymore. Just like the tide, the memories get high and bring tears to my eyes. But just like the tide, they also withdraw, and leave at peace for a while. Eventually It won’t come as high anymore and it will remain a calm sea of fond memories.

I’m thinking of ending the series soon. I often wonder if some of the pain would go away if I sold them all and they were taken away. I could also burn them all. But I think it might just end up morphing into something else.

till soon ~

– D