Here is a large 11 by 15″ Polaroid and a series of snapshot of regular sized Polaroids.

I’ve been reflecting about the gender issues recently and dynamics in relationship.

Our culture made us believe in the prince charming, but what about the princess charming? Male is always on top of things, and ironically when he encounters a woman who meets all the standards he could dream for, if she happens to be more than he can actually bring himself to be, the man feels emasculated. Now that seems unfair to me. If a woman meets a man who’s talented, beautiful, rich and in love with her (to simplify), that’s perfect. If it’s the other way around, the man feels like he needs to compete with the woman and must if not equal her, surpass her. It’s hard to accept the change of dynamics. And a man who is earning less than his partner still feels inadequate next to her. The men who accept it tends to be opportunists, or gigolos (or labeled as such). But it shouldn’t have to be. Financial status shouldn’t be important in a relationship. But is the world really ready for a dynamic where women earn the money and the men help at home with the kids? Women became independent, but there are more single women raising kids on their own than ever. It seems it just made some men more self centered and confused. Women don’t need them anymore for financial support, so what is their place? Where can they feel important? Why not see your partner success as your success and simply bring yourself up?

Young people often forget relationships come with up and downs, and one person complete the other on certain things they wouldn’t be able to achieve by themselves. It’s in hardship you can build yourself, and if someone can be on your side to support you by simply being there for you, then it’s beautiful. Unfortunately, the youth tends to focus on the unimportant, and the self.

Love is about caring for someone more than yourself, not impress them with what you have. Love is to appreciate what they give you and give back any way you can. Caring for what they truly are, not what they represent.

Last Shot

These snapshots type give nice movement to a sequence. More of those to come…


Some people will stick with you forever as a fond or disappointing memory. But there is nothing like sorrow to get fueled with inspiration. It’s usually in the darkest, or brightest moments you find emotions strong enough to sing with your very own voice.

I’ll close on an extract from the Black Prince;

There is nothing quite like the dead dull feel of a failed marriage. Nor is there anything like one’s hatred for an ex-spouse. (How can such a person dare to be happy?) I cannot credit those who speak of ‘friendship’ in such a context. I lived in years with a sense of things irrevocably soiled and spoiled, it could give suddenly such a sad feel to the world sometimes. I could not liberate myself from her mind. This had nothing to do with love. Those who have suffered these sort of bondage will understand. […]  Out of sigh out of mind is a charter of human survival. Not so Christian, she was ubiquitous: her consciousness was rapacious, her thoughts could damage, passing like noxious rays through space and time. Her remarks were memorable. Only good old America cured her for me in the end. I put her away with a tedious man in a tedious and very distant town and was able to feel that she had died. What a relief!

~ Iris Murdoch – The Black Prince (1975)

till soon~

D –


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